deathofdelilah: (thinking it over)
[personal profile] deathofdelilah
//private to Cassian//

Cassian? If you could, I need you in my old laboratory for just a moment.

[Why no there is no greenery hanging from the ceiling at the moment, why do you ask?]


Date: 2011-12-11 03:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[A little confused, but whatever.]

Be right there.

[After a few minutes, there's a knock at the door before Cassian steps in.]

You called?


Date: 2011-12-11 03:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[The mistletoe is pretty much right near the doorway; Jezebel has stepped away for the moment, though the curse's effects are still on him enough that he doesn't immediately turn to walk where Cassian is.]

That was quick. Thank you for coming on such short notice... [He says it as he walks closer, not seeming hesitant for the moment.]


Date: 2011-12-12 11:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Cassian remains oblivious, his gaze on Jezebel alone and his mind preoccupied with what would've brought the doctor here.]

Of course. What's going on?


Date: 2011-12-12 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Jezebel doesn't answer. There's only a second's pause before he leans forward, tilting his head up to Cassian's, pressing a slow open-mouthed kiss to his lips. One hand finds its way to the side of Cassian's face, the other steadies him on Cassian's arm, gripping him lightly.]


Date: 2011-12-15 07:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Once again, Cassian was surprised by the sudden display of affection but, this time, he didn't hesitate. He brought one hand up to the back of Jezebel's head, the other going to the doctor's waist to pull him closer.]


Date: 2011-12-15 12:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[There was a long moment where Jezebel was so pleased, so content to continue kissing Cassian so long as the other man was willing to return it. His thumb runs along Cassian's jawline, and he shifts easily with the hand on his waist, pressing nearer --

And then somewhere in the kiss, the curse fades away, and the pull of the mistletoe wanes. And then he remembers the curse, that there was mistletoe at the door, which explains his own pull to kiss Cassian but also Cassian's eager response...

He stops the kiss even more suddenly than he'd started it, breaking it awkwardly before pulling away, looking away from Cassian in embarrassment.]

My apologies.


Date: 2011-12-17 04:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Cassian winced, inwardly, at the apology. He knew it was his fault Jezebel felt the need to apologize. After a brief pause, he reached out to place a hand against the doctor's cheek, stepping close again.]

Don't apologize.'s not like I didn't want it...

[It was complicated.]


Date: 2011-12-18 03:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Jezebel did not shy from the touch, but he did not lean his face against Cassian's hand as he would have wished to. Instead, he nodded towards the mistletoe still hanging above them, wearing a wry expression.]

Don't let a curse alter your intentions, Cassian.

[He stepped away, so that if Cassian stepped towards him, they would be away from the plant and, presumably, free from its influence. When he spoke again, he avoided Cassian's gaze, still feeling the sting of embarassment at what he'd done.]

I should have realized those plants would bring one of the City's curses about. ...I would not have disrespected your wishes after you'd made them plain to me before.


Date: 2011-12-18 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don't think you know what my wishes are.

[He stepped away from the mistletoe and closer to the doctor.]

I really do want...

[He didn't know how to form the words for what he wanted to say. Instead he leaned forward and pressed their lips together, letting the kiss linger only a moment before pulling away again.]

That. That's what I want.

Re: Action!

Date: 2011-12-18 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[He doesn't resist the kiss, but his expression morphs of one of confusion and caution. When he speaks, the hesitance in his voice is clear, his eyes briefly flickering back to the mistletoe, as though he doesn't dare let himself believe this so easily:]

That's not what you said before.

[After the last time, he did not want to let his hopes rise if this was merely a curse. had stung when Cassian had broken away, more than he'd been willing to admit to himself. It was so very rare that he cared about anyone at all, and Cassian was the only one he could name who he trusted so deeply and who made him feel so secure and content. If he did not want Jezebel, he understood, but he did not want a curse to toy with feelings more intense than he could handle.]


Date: 2011-12-19 08:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I...I know.

[He didn't want to explain. It was difficult to explain and it meant admitting things he'd been keeping to himself for years. But Jezebel was the one person who deserved to hear it and it wasn't like he liked lying to the man, either.]

What I said last time...It still applies. I can't want that. I shouldn't. There's- I just-

[That was where the words failed him. He'd never been any good with words, especially when it really mattered. He had to try, though.]

You deserve better.


Date: 2011-12-19 11:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Jezebel looked at him with even more growing confusion, though some of his caution fell away. He frowned slightly, questioning. In his own mind, it was the reverse -- there was the frequent, nagging thought that perhaps Cassian should not be throwing his lot in with a half-mad murderer.]

What on earth are you talking about? [His voice isn't angry or demanding, just curious. If anything, he shifts slightly closer, looking up at the other man with a questioning look.]


Date: 2011-12-27 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[He hesitates, looking away to try and gather his thoughts and emotions so that he can put them into words.]

I...I want to be with you. There's just...too much wrong. about you...but I have no right to. Not with how much older I am and, certainly, not with this body I have.

[He'd meant to say it to Jezebel's face, but it was taking all of his will power not to bolt from the room, much less look at the man he was talking to.]
Edited Date: 2011-12-27 07:58 pm (UTC)


Date: 2011-12-27 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
There was a surge of…warmth, he supposed, and affection for the other man at the word ‘care’. He did not understand Cassian’s high opinion of him or his level of devotion to a madman, but that did not mean it did not affect him. What had he ever done to deserve such loyalty? Jezebel wasn’t sure, but he was grateful for him more than he could stand sometimes.]

You mean because your body was once Cassandra’s.

[It was a statement, not a question; he remembered their conversation after the memories curse. He shifted slightly closer, his eyes never leaving Cassian’s face and his voice calm and low and sincere; Jezebel did not want his words doubted.]

I’ve told you before: wearing his skin doesn’t mean anything. It didn’t make him what he was. [Since Cassian’s face was turned away, touched the side of his face idly, the pad of his thumb running along his chin. It was a gesture he would never have given Cassandra, and one that he’d have done shuddering if Cassandra had forced him to; Cassian had to understand that.]

You could grow out your hair and put on his clothes and douse yourself in his cologne, and I promise you: I would know who you were in a heartbeat. You are yourself. That’s all there is to it. [His lips quirk into a small, wry smile before he adds:] And you are not that much older than me, you know.


Date: 2011-12-31 06:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[It was hard to hear the words and not try to find something to dispute in them. He wanted to argue, to show Jezebel why he shouldn't be allowed to feel like he did...but he did hear the doctor's sincerity and the touch on his face only solidified that.

That touch was what he wanted...and now that the doctor knew what he was hung up on..he really couldn't think of an argument beyond that. Until the age comment. When he spoke his tone was deadpan, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world and, to Cassian, it was.]

I'm thirty-eight...that's, at least, ten years in difference.

[Besides, he still saw the child in was a difficult visual to shake.]

Re: Action!

Date: 2011-12-31 05:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Jezebel arched an eyebrow a little at that. Though he was glad that Cassian did not try to refute his statements about Cassandra. He didn't let himself hope that Cassian's mind would be swayed, not yet, but if it was...well, he would like that. But he also knew Cassian could be very stubborn at times.]

In London, I've seen girls of eighteen married off to men of fifty. Ten years is not such a very large difference.


Date: 2012-01-01 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's the aristocracy. [Cassian's face reflected his mild disgust. But then he went silent...he still didn't think everything was 'all right' but he'd run out of arguments. Save one and he already knew it wasn't going to go over well.]

...You're still just a child.


Date: 2012-01-01 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[For a second or two, Jezebel's face seemed to go blank, as if he were making sure that he had, in fact, heard that correctly. When it faded, his expression shifted to confusion (and perhaps just a tiny bit irritated):]



Date: 2012-01-01 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Yeah, not go over well at all.]

It's...difficult to explain. When I see you... a part of me still sees that.

[And all those curses where they went back to their younger years didn't help him to shake that visual.]

Re: Action!

Date: 2012-01-01 11:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
[Jezebel arches an eyebrow, giving him a cool look. After a few seconds of sorting this information -- because, really, this was not the reasoning he'd expected -- he replies:]

I'd have thought you, of all people, would not want to treat someone as a child when you know they aren't one. [Because. You know. The old body.]


deathofdelilah: (Default)

December 2011


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